I am a nonbinary (or agender, maybe) feminist and I had to fight very hard to become someone who was comfortable defining as either of those things, and then as both of those things. I have had a lot of discussions lately with my closest nb feminist friends about this and the fundamental thing we have all agreed on is that there is a conversation that badly needs to be had more often about how, even if you don’t feel 100% ‘female’, even if you never did feel 100% ‘female’, the world begins treating you as ‘female’ from a very young age and that is always, no matter how you end up defining yourself, going to have shaped your life experience.
So, I’m not a girl any more, or I never was one. but when I was young I didn’t know there was any alternative to what people were telling me I was, i.e. a girl. it never fit me, but that didn’t stop me from believing that was what I was because that’s what I was constantly being told - by my family, by society, by ambient media consumption, by changing in the girls’ room and not the boys’ room at school, by a thousand thousand things that happened every day. and, in that sense, despite not being a girl, I lived the life of one, the everyday warped reality of one, and so to all intents and purposes believe I can claim feminism as my own movement because not actually being a girl didn’t save me from the things that were done to me because everyone else thought I was one.
Saturday, 5 March 2016
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