FRIENDS WITH BENEFIT: THE TRUTH & THE 7 RULES

The great thirst for sex without strings attached will continue to put the trend of friends with benefit in existence. People go into it as a result of sexual urges they want to act upon without being in the real deal (the boyfriend/girlfriend kind). The deal is one that allows both parties to have other sexual partners without anyone getting jealous or feeling cheated but that’s the greatest lie anyone can tell themselves in a friends with benefits relationship. That’s the purpose of this piece – to tell you the truth and the rules.

1. State your terms and conditions (define the relationship).

When going into a business partnership, the terms and conditions are clearly spelt out in a way both partners understand clearly and grievances are settled. In the case of FWB, the terms and conditions should be spelt out and should only be agreed to if both partners can deal with what it entails. That’s the first challenge most FWB relationships face – no terms and conditions.

A lot of people are in FWB relationships and they just don’t realise it yet. Some people don’t even know they’re in a FWB relationship because they’ve mistaken likeness for love or because the partner is fond of them, it means “something”.

“Always be sure that person is obviously single not by assuming but by observation and asking questions because you don’t want the main chick or the main guy coming to take back their “possession” after you already thought you own them.”

One should clearly define all forms all relationships they want to go into before they go into it, no one wants to waste their time, energy, resources and emotions with anyone who was never on the same page with them.

2. Don’t be emotional, don’t catch feelings

We always tell ourselves that it’s just going to be sex, nothing more but then you see yourself getting jealous when he or she receives a call that seems romantic or when he or she has to spend time with other people asides you. If you’re an emotional person, you shouldn’t be in this kind of relationship. It’s for people who have “gangster” emotions; Individuals who can overlook things and never speak about them. Whether you admit it or not, sex is a big deal and can bring about unplanned emotional feelings.

3. Don’t always say how you feel (you don’t need to have “the talk”).

FWB partners should know that FWB is just what it is: friends with benefits. No future, no talking too much, it’s just business. It’s not a relationship where you and your partner can have “the talk” every now and then because it’s not that deep.

4. You don’t need to know what they’re doing when you’re not with them.

You should also be un-bothered about the people they spend time with when you’re not with them, they’re not obliged to tell you about the “other things” they’re doing. You should try not to complain about things you can’t deal because that’s probably why they have you even though they have other partners, it might make them want to end it if the difference between you and their partners isn’t much.

5. Your FWB partner shouldn’t be your only partner.

Going into a FWB relationship as a single person isn’t what I would advise someone to do especially when the partner you’re going into it with isn’t single, you’re going to be doing yourself a lot of harm. Not having other (or another) sexual partner(s) in a FWB relationship means you would be putting your all into the relationship and you shouldn’t be doing that in a relationship that clearly has no future.

6. Don’t think it would ever get serious, if it was meant to be, it should have been.

Another mistake people in FWB relationships make is thinking that the relationship would ever get “serious”. Honey, if it didn’t start on a serious note, it would most likely never get to a serious level. The fact that he or she had a serious partner and the relationship ended doesn’t mean you would be their next option for something serious. It doesn’t work that way, if it was meant to be a serious relationship, it would have been. The probability that your FWB relationship would ever get serious is like half over one thousand. Before his or her “main” relationship ended, they probably already have someone they’re considering to be “serious relationship material” so instead of getting your hopes up, get yourself something serious too.

Written by

Odusola Aanuoluwapo

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10 years ago, Kim Kardashian and Ray J‘s sex tape leaked, and it’s safe to say that everything changed after that moment. Well, at least for Kim and her family. As for the rest of us, we’ve felt the impact of the Kardashianification to the world. And to commemorate the 10-year anniversary of Kim Kardashian, here are 10 ways the world has changed as a result of the skin flick…

 Reality shows became the new must-see TV

Since Keeping Up With the Kardashians premiered in 2007, the world of entertainment has seen an explosion in reality TV.
From Shark Tank to The Voice to Love & Hip Hop, Kim and her family helped bring reality TV from guilty pleasure to mainstream entertainment.
Although there has been news of KUWTK views crashing, that wouldn’t kill the brand they’ve built through the years.

Making the ‘selfie’ popular

Social media has proven to be one of Kim’s most valuable assets and she has managed to make news, and millions, by doing nothing more than posting selfies to her Instagram page.
The trend has caught on to the point where in 2013, the Oxford English Dictionary named ‘selfie’ the word of the year. What other reality star can say they basically invented a word?

Paris Hilton basically disappeared; like girl, BYE!

While Kim’s sex tape was her coming out party, she was first introduced to the world as a member of Paris Hilton‘s Beverly Hills entourage, when she worked as an assistant for the hotel heiress.
Since Kim became a superstar (seemingly overnight), Paris took her L with grace and pretty much disappeared into relative anonymity.
Apparently, there was some behind-the-scenes drama between the former friends, but they’ve since resolved it.

She paved the way for the likes of Trump’s presidency

Many have called Donald Trump the ‘Reality TV President,’ as he also gained much of his fame and influence through his hit show, The Apprentice, and via his overworked Twitter fingers.
Just as Kim dominates the 24-hour celebrity news cycle, Trump was able to dominate the 24-hour political news cycle throughout his campaign.

Butt implants went mainstream (and it has since become the new cool)

While there’s nothing new about an appreciation for big derrieres, particularly for blacks, Kim took the feature ‘mainstream’ and appropriated it for profit.
Celebrities like Heidi Montag, Iggy Azalea and Kim’s own sister, Kylie prove that (rumoured) butt implants amongst white celebrities are certainly on the rise.
She turned Cornrows into ‘Boxer Braids’

Remember when braiding hair into narrow strips close to the scalp was called ‘cornrows’? Like, for decades?
Well, since Kim decided to appropriate the style that Blacks have worn for generations, she rebranded it as ‘boxer braids.’ And guess what? That’s what they now call it.
She created the new (not so improved) Kanye

Since Kanye got married to Kim in 2014, we have seen Kanye become a tabloid sideshow, complete with public outbursts, meltdowns, and much more.
In the words of his friend Donnie Trump: SAD!
She proved that nudity is not just for Playboy

We’ve come a long way since Kim’s nervous Playboy shoot during the first season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
Thanks to her, nude is no longer a taboo — and the more exposure, the better.
Athletes have never been more famous

Kim and Reggie bush

The Kardashian girls’ affinity for athlete boyfriends means the mainstream public who couldn’t tell a touchdown from a layup now know more professional athletes’ names than ever before.
James Harden, Miles Austin, Reggie Bush, Lamar Odom, Kris Humphries and more will be able to cash in on their Kardashian connections for years to come.
Sex (tape) sells!

It is hard to underestimate how much of her career Kim owes to her sex tape, so it comes as no surprise that many other D-list celebrities, reality stars, socialites and regular folks have tried her business model out for themselves.
Farrah Abraham and Mimi Faust are just two of the stars that tried to turn a skin flick into mega $$$ like Kim.

Know yourself!

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5 Things Every Nigerian Lady Can Learn From Bobrisky

Despite the fact that you might be one of Bobrisky's haters, there’s actually some pointers you can learn from him.

The self-acclaimed Nigerian king of Snapchat is generally perceived as ‘dumb’ by a lot of people but he has to be a special kind of dimwit to have achieved the kind of fame and attention that he gets and moreso, keep on leash a ‘bae’ who spends money on him like it’s going out of fashion.
That said ladies, here are five important lessons you can learn from Bobrisky.

• Your makeup always have to be peng! This is one of the most important things Bobrisky has taught us. You can’t be walking about with a badly done makeup. That is very disrespectful not just to yourself but to everyone who might be unfortunate enough to run into you. If you haven’t learnt how to get your makeup on fleek, then please and please, make sure you have a professional makeup artist on speed dial.

• Anything that’s worth doing is worth doing well: You might have come across those photos with his hands looking darker than the rest of him but that is just the handwork of “haters”. As he has frequently shown us on his Instagram, his whole body is evenly toned and blemish-free. Lesson? If you’re going to bleach, bleach well.

• Keep your “bae” away from social media: If you’re one of those girls who always flaunt every man they date on social media, please do yourself a favour and stop. We don’t need to know who you’re sleeping with. Be like Bobrisky who as much as he talks about his bae, nobody truly knows who he or she is. That way, you don’t have to worry about losing him to ‘Instagram honeys’.

• Don’t forget to tell yourself you’re beautiful: Even when nobody else does or agrees, you have to remind yourself that you’re beautiful. If you say it loud enough and often enough, you start believing it.

Learn how to whine your waist! Hundreds of thousands camp out on Bobrisky’s Snapchat daily just to catch a glimpse of him whining his waist. If this doesn’t tell you that there is power in the waist, girl, I don’t know what else to tell you


source :star.ng

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Signs that your crush will break your heart

Dating can feel like you are walking through a minefield — you never know who is going to work and who is going to break your heart. Take a look at these signs before it’s too late:
1. He asks for your number, but never calls
Keep in mind that sometimes guys ask for your number without ever having the intention of calling — it’s totally normal. But those (obviously) aren’t the type of guys that you want to spend your time with.
2. He just wants to play cat and mouse games
Some men just LOVE the thrill of the chase. It’ll involve a ton of chemistry, but he’ll avoid getting too attached. Guys like this like to play the field and they love the game — they aren’t looking for a committed relationship.
3. He acts like your boyfriend, but he never commits
The most hurtful of them all, and probably the most frustrating, is the guy who acts like your boyfriend and never commits. In hindsight, thank goodness he didn’t! These guys are commitment-phobic.
4. He says he doesn’t believe in marriage
When man tells you he doesn’t believe in marriage when you WANT to be married it’s a very important decision-point for you. There are only two reasons why he will say this; either he genuinely DOESN’T believe in marriage or he doesn’t want to marryyou. Either way, you’re not going to get what you want. Instead of sticking around, cut your losses and go find what you do want. Yes it’s scary, but it’s worth it.
What really makes you hurt is not the guy’s actions — they aren’t necessarily out to get you — but it hurts so much because you sacrificed a part of yourself and your ideals for him. It’s important that you don’t deny yourself and that you remain true to yourself. So if you’re dating a man right now and it’s not feeling right or you feel like he’s going to hurt you in the long run, maybe try taking a look at how you both line up.

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